My Thoughts About Being in Georgia

I’ve been back in the States for almost 2 weeks. I’ve forced myself to take 4 comp days and have rested in several different ways: including sleep, staring out of windows, kayaking, and taking long walks.

Time somehow stands still, creeps, and zooms …all at once.

It’s been easy to look at my Georgia life with judgment and criticism. Simpler to sit in silence than challenge what I’ve been seeing and feeling.

Recently it’s been easier to look at the shadows than look at the light.

That’s what I realized at church on Sunday.

I have been spending more time paying attention to the problems in Thailand than paying attention to the Lord, His Words, His Hope.

In a way, I haven’t really been worshipping or praising who the Lord is. If I would have been doing that, I would have been filled with more joy.

I believe when I am looking at the Lord and His Goodness, discouragement doesn’t have a place. I’m talking about the discouragement that says, “This will never change.”

Looking at Him as He truly is gives perspective that He is good and sovereign over the situation. It reminds me again (and again and again) that He sees what is happening around the world, even if it’s a random Soi in the city of Pattaya or a tiny bar on Walking Street.

He sees and He is more heartbroken than I am. That realization took my discouragement away and filled me with hope.

I am still learning how to hold the tension of being fully here while still wanting to serve overseas. Right now, I am looking at what I have in front of me here in Georgia: The opportunity to place hundreds of mission trip participants with incredible ministries in Southeast Asia and around the world, a handful of college women to pour into, friendships to continue being sharpened by, and dreams I want to accomplish.

I am CHOOSING to look at the possibilities for right now instead of waiting until I’m overseas to begin living and serving.

So that’s where I am: living with a lot of question marks and being okay with that because I know God sees and is already using me.